Somatic

C.S. Lewis said “You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.” I personally have become so entangled with my somatic problems.  I obsess over every little blemish, bloat or pain.  Upon my awakening and spiritual path I learned that outside circumstances have nothing to do with me and who I truly am.  Who I am truly am is the one who watches, the timeless and untouchable nothingness. These are merely events that I experience.  Although I know this I was still convinced, until now, that my body was me.  How could it not be? My soul was occupying this space, it goes with me everywhere.  I am drawn into every ache, itch and anything that was slightly off balance.  I feel shame about my imperfections.  My thoughts wonder what I did wrong for this imbalance in the body to manifest.  I fumble back into the past and feel regret and sadness for the toxic chemicals I put into my body.  Then I had the realization that I am not my body and these aches and pains are a part of this awakening to the true self.  The true self does not fear pain, it faces fear with great courage and tenacity.  The realization that I am not my body has been the hidden secret because of my unrelenting  attachment to it.   I am not  flesh, blood and bone but the energy that pervades this physical body.  There is a part of you that welcomes pain and change because it knows on the other side is growth if you chose it.  As we go into this new age we understand that time is speeding up and manifestation is happening at much faster rates.  The more that we can go with this ebb and flow we can open up to the powerful energy that is being sent here on Earth.  I will now connect to the universal energy that is running through my vessel and allow it to flow.  I trust that my health depends solely on this energy to flow, it is that simple.

Welcome

If you have read my other blog entries then you probably get the sense I am curious and intrigued by darkness.  I feel it deeply and have a passion for understanding it.  I have come to learn and accept that it is necessary. I received a feeling during a moment of darkness that felt warming, almost as if I enjoyed the pain?  I felt as though I was welcoming it.  I was not resisting it, but not only that, I was enjoying it.  Recognizing that the darkness is a part of me on a deeper level than I had previously known.  We all have shadow parts of ourselves and we have been conditioned to feel shame around our dark parts.  This shame separates us from each other, we feel isolated.  Its as if no one had ever felt the pain that we are feeling, which is so far from truth. We begin to honor each part of ourselves, remembering that none of it is us.  The true self is nothingness.  It can be hard to grasp this when we have been trained to be so involved in physical form and dismissing the other side, which is spirit.  Can we begin to welcome it all, enjoy it all?  Learn to be ok with the fact that really we are nothingness?

Equanimity

What does it mean to live a spiritual life?  In short, it means to know that there is an unseen force that is loving us and supporting us.  You trust the process of life and understand that each moment is a gift so that you may grow into your full potential.  Our purpose is to let go and be present to your emotions.  When you start to feel old patterns emerge, you step back and become a witness to the pain.  You do not get involved in the pain.  You notice the patterns of berating yourself.  This is old conditioning that lives in our collective consciousness.  Spirit is your essence, spirit is the energy that pervades you.  When you begin to awaken to this truth you constantly remind yourself to come back to the zero point with in.  In yogic terms we call this zero point Sunya.  The mind will continue to create problems and thought patterns, this will not end.  It is in the remembering to come back to this zero point that we begin to find equanimity.