Doing, Doing, Doing

When I look around at the world I see a bunch of ants running around doing a bunch of things and in a hurry to do them.  I often ponder if that is our purpose.  I see so much of our society is based on what we are doing or accomplishing.  Is that the real nature of being human? To do, make and create?  I don’t have answers to this.  I have come to realize that I know nothing and the things I think I know are changing or probably will change.  I am just here perceiving how I perceive and doing my best to come to new conclusions with those new perceptions.  I find myself in a place where there is a clean slate and I feel a ton of pressure to figure out what I am going to do now.  I see how everyone has their creation they are working so hard on and with so much passion.  I have a lot of respect for it.  I just don’t have that in this moment and by not having that somehow I have picked up in my subconscious that does not make me worthy. It is so interesting how we have defined our self worth by what we accomplish and do.  In truth, just being is so beyond worthy in itself.  So do I have to have some big project or goal in the pipeline? I feel that my conditioning says yes and it is a big yes.  It is saying “Kat, get off your ass and do something big or you are going to be living in a box on the side of the street”.  There is however a small but tiny voice that says “Just relax Kat, you just do what you feel in this moment and all is unfolding for you perfectly”.  So which voice do I listen to?  I think I will listen to the small tiny voice and see what happens.

 

Darkness

I have a great desire to help others release resistance because of my own personal struggle. Maybe some of you have it together and everything is perfect.  Kudos to you if that is the case.  It has taken me a while to get to a point where I appreciate the struggle.  I still have my moments asking “why oh why?” They are now lined with a deep trust that I am guided and exactly where I need to be. Struggle will make you a strong asker for new and better.  We all see the world in a certain way according to the life experiences we have had.  I, like everyone else in the world have experienced pain and heart break.  How can you have compassion when you have not had the experience?   We are experiencing certain circumstances so that our soul can evolve.  You just have to relax and trust, stop reacting.  The struggle that you are going through now will pass and you will have another one very soon.  The moment you truly accept that, the struggle is over.  Not everyone is dealing with the same problems.  The experiences we are having are a direct result of what we need to experience to become more aware.  We will keep experiencing the same circumstance until we are ready to transform it. We have a tendency to want to play victim mentality.  We ask why do I have to deal with this? What did I do wrong?  Eckhart Tolle says “Life will give you whatever experience you need for the evolution of your consciousness”.  Find a way to look to how this conflict is serving you, this will shift you from victim to creator mentality.  In my darkness, I find myself.  I emerge new and better.

 

Trigger Happy

What if you decided today to welcome pain? Our natural proclivity is to resist pain. We all have triggers that engage our own personal fears.  We stop ourselves from getting into a relationship or trying something new for fear of failure or rejection.  We remember a time when we were let down by someone or a situation didn’t work out in our favor.  We start to feel those feelings again.  It is quite painful. It actually feels like the end of the world.  We are then consumed by the thoughts and emotions associated with this particular fear.  It can swallow you up very quickly.  I have the good old fear of abandonment program running.  If I feel like I have opened up to someone and it feels like they are pulling away my ego kicks in.  It either wants to cling to the person or run far away.  Those are the two options to protect it from being abandoned.  There is another option and it is so much easier.  It might not feel like it and I promise you that your ego will want to fight this.  It is possible to see the pain as it it comes up and tell yourself things like “oh, this is my old pattern coming up”.   Then say “I am just going to relax and let this be here for a while”. See it as a passing event and however it turns out I will be ok.  It sounds really simple and it is.  You must however actually do it and be so present when these feeling arise.  Catching it in the first moment you feel the heat rising is the way to really change the course of your behavior.  The secret is you have to WANT to change.  Do you really want to feel better? Do you believe that you can?  Do you want to live in peace, joy and harmony? If you do, then do the simple thing.  Relax around your triggers.